If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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