someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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