I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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