I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Randomize
