She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
