I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
