Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
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