I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
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