I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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