Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Randomize
