My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
the night ended with taco bell and tears
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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