pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
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