Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
No stitches, just platelets and will power
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
