Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
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