More tranny stories later!
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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