I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Randomize
