i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
