I can text with my tongue
Its about making memories worth repressing
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Randomize
