Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
another moral hangover. fuck.
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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