At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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