Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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