Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
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