You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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