I hate all girls vehemently.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
