would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
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