OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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