NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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