Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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