can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize