My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
