Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Randomize
