i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
