Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
