happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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