I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
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