i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Randomize
