Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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