stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
