real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
