Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
