So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
