The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Randomize
