i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize
