you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
