Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
