apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
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In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
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We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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