I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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