Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
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