Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
