bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Randomize
