i love accidental penises.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
