so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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