please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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