I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
