Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
