I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
