why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
