Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
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