the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
